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Insignificantly Divine

  • michele

Sixth Energy Healing Session


Intention: Unraveling from an intense period of our family life


Kate prepares herself for her energy body work session in the morning and for mine her guides were showing her the room becoming a sacred temple for our work today. She sees a lot of geometric patterns when she does this work and was seeing patterns and symbols coming down from above and welling up from below filling the space and making it holy.


Kate starts every session by scanning my body and she felt a lot more airiness and openness above my head and in my third chakra than she has before. There was some grief in my hearth and in my womb. She sensed that this was generational maternal grief and collective energy around the question of , ‘how do I show up and be a good mother?’. While mostly from my maternal side, the paternal side also held this collective grief.

 

I found myself in an expansive canyon area, under a beautiful canvas of stars, weeping and grieving. An older woman was there and she put a shawl around me, caring for me so I could let the grief out. At the same time a group of mothers/women were washing my feet with rose petals. As they did this, they were also tapping words into a pillar of stone. This was a pillar of strength that was within me and they were chiseling the words into it to remind me that I can return to my strength.


A wolf joined the group representing the grit, strength, power, and focus that we had to have to navigate our mothering journeys. It was an acknowledgement and honoring of the protective and fierce side of my mothering energy.


As this group of mothers supported me, Mother Mary came through on a bed of roses, ushering in a beautiful, flowing mothering peace. Her focus was to restore this pillar of peace for me as I’m weathering different things in my life.


The woman who had put the shawl over me was leafing through the pages of a book. She’d stop and then bring someone new into the healing circle. What wound up happening is the circle got rounded out with myself at the ages my children are now. Then we realized that the woman with the shawl was an older version of myself and she now had a baby - me when I was young. My whole lifetime was represented in this circle and they were here to prepare me for a ritual - an earth burial.


All of the women began digging two holes in the earth. They lit 13 candles - divine feminine number - around the burial place. I stood over one hole and shed all the layers of grief, like a shedding of the uterus. This shedding held all of my ancestors’ grief and was a very sacred event. Once this was complete, the women took it away in a container. They then put me in the other hole and covered me with soil and allowed me to be buried.


There was still a lot of energy work happening at this point around the arc lines of my body, but I was held in this sacred earth container during the work. As I was going through this, the wolf came over to the filled hole and gave me a reverent bow. It then turned and walked away into the canyon under the moon and stars. I was done needing the wolf energy for my mothering journey. Instead a sweet, soft rabbit came and was a source of soothing comfort for me. Rabbits represent vulnerability, creation and abundance.


As I was buried, the healed womb energy of grief and generational trauma began funneling through either side of the hole I was buried in, like aqueducts into orange groves, fortifying peace and healing, and providing nourishment across both the mothering lines of my maternal and paternal sides.


While this was happening, the women kept repeating the phrase ‘as above, so below’ and then they released the offering that I had shed in the hole earlier to the cosmos. It went up and was given to Nuut who is the cosmic universal mother in Egyptian mythology. She processed the offering, transmuted it and birthed a star for me as I emerged from the earth bathed under the constellations and moon. They showed me the star and we knew it was my guiding light/my north star and would always bring me back into alignment.


Felt: Peaceful, grounded, cared for


Practices:

  1. It is possible for us to heal intergenerational trauma in our lifetime. The way to do this is to remember those in the past. To honor the struggles they went through and to know they did the best they could with the tools they had at the time.

  2. Kate suggested I meditate on this image. Picture my Christed, Buddha or higher version of myself sitting in a peaceful meditation. As I sat there, and as a mother, I was pulled into different things and a layer of me would get up to meet these needs or do these tasks. The key is that the sacred center was always there and I can always come back to it.

  3. When everything feels in chaos around me, my work is to focus on letting go of micromanaging and refocusing on what is in my power right now. Ask myself, ‘how can I react to this?’, ‘What can I physically do that is in a position of power, not grasping at straws or trying to control?’, ‘what can I do in my heart?’. As mothers, it is powerful how working on ourselves and centering ourselves to our north star shifts the whole family dynamic. The work done today was to connect me with a deep, deep bedrock of peace that I can continually return to over and over. Keep coming back to this gift that we all have.

Techniques and Meaning:

  1. When Kate told me about the star being birthed for me, she told me to not start thinking, ‘why should I be so special to get a star?’. This is a birthright and potential for everyone.

  2. When you go through hard processes and experiences in your life and embrace them, the energy work you allow in is at another level. Your personal development and reflection in this world allows you to be more expansive in the spiritual world.

Themes That Continue:

  • Maternal Line

  • Burial

  • Flowers/fruit coming out of my grief or pain

  • michele

I've been stuck on posting a write-up of the next energy session I had. It's confusing. It's complicated. It's personal.


While I garnered a lot of meaning from it, I'm not sure it will translate on the page. I'm still deciding how it needs to show up here - or if it needs to show up here. I realized yesterday I was stuck, so I'm posting something today to get me moving again!


So, today is a podcast recommendation. This episode of On Being is amazing. Krista Tippett interviews Christine Runyan and it's titled: What’s Happening in Our Nervous Systems? She is the one who gave me the title of this blog post, when she said, "Whoever you are, whatever you are feeling . . . of course.".


Here is a brief description from the show notes: "Clinical psychologist Christine Runyan explains the physiological effects of a year of pandemic and social isolation - what’s happened at the level of stress response and nervous system, the literal mind-body connection. And she offers simple strategies to regain our fullest capacities for the world ahead."


Their discussion looks at the impact of the species level trauma we've all been going through over the past year+ through the lens of our nervous system and bodies.


Basically, when our bodies are assaulted in any way we have a natural response from our autonomic nervous system (the fight/flight we all know about). The threat and response is not detected at a conscious level of awareness, it is detected in our basic nervous system. This activates a series of very predictable physical responses that give us the reserve necessary to fight or flight from whatever the threat is.


Typically, when the brain tells the body that the threat is gone then the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest) can jump in. This is also innate and its job is to calm things down to our natural state of calmness and present awareness.


The challenge this year with Covid, racial reckoning, the US election, the isolation and death surrounding us is that the threat has never felt like it was gone so our parasympathetic nervous system has not stepped in to do its work.


Without this natural system stepping in, we either stay in a heightened state of fight/flight arousal or dive into another natural variation in our nervous system - the freeze response. While the freeze response is actually a highly aroused state, it presents as numbness and detachment. Kind of like what Adam Grant described in the now viral languishing article. The body 'tucks in' to protect itself, but for people who have experience with depression, this can be a scary place to land because even though it is a natural response, it feels so familiar or 'on the road' to a depressive state.


So what do we do?


What I love about this podcast is that Christine talks about simple ways we can manually restart our parasympathetic nervous system and kick it into gear to help us relax. We need to give our bodies what they are missing to feel safe and protected so that they our nervous systems can calm down.


She reaffirms to us that our bodies are doing their best to take care of us and we have more power than we realize to reorient ourselves and tap into our innate abilities to take care of ourselves. Connecting with our bodies, trusting our bodies, accepting our bodies and loving our bodies is powerful.


We have a choice here about how we react.







  • michele

It is true that humans are here to learn. We are here to understand our world and ourselves and to make it better; to make it align with the goodness of the universe and the joy that exists for everyone.


It is hard when we are not opened and are tethered to what is. It is hard when we feel stuck and tied down. It is hard when we are not kind to ourselves and try to make ourselves in the image of someone else. This is impossible and this is a sure ticket to dissatisfaction.


How do we let ourselves and others learn how remarkable they are? How do we keep this mirror alive and open and free? Trust, love, ease, empathy.


It is true that we are human and it is true that we are divine.


We see this when we are struck in awe by an ocean, a mountain, a vista, a baby. We are one with the divine and the resonance that we feel is always there. It gets buried like a bell wrapped in cloth. It gets lost and unable to be heard, but it is there. Unwrap the cloth and ring the bell.


There is no one here that can judge you if you do not want to be judged. There is no one here who can hurt you if you do not want to be hurt. There is no one who can love you if you do not want to be loved.

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